Friday, October 23, 2009

5 Things You Didn't Know: Women


First, let's look at five things you already knew about women: Women have no respect for logic; they can openly disagree with themselves and still be right; they can carry on complex relationships with us, with or without our participation; there is nothing in the world more fragile than an unbreakable woman; they are born able to read minds and will always find our inability a disappointment; and finally, women are a contradiction in terms. This is a statement that doesn’t make sense, no matter how hard we try to figure it out, and it's also one that goes a long way in explaining why women are all so glorious and beautiful and why we can’t stop (why we wouldn’t ever want to stop) falling in love with them.

And now, 5 things you didn’t know about women.

1- Women get blue balls

No one said you needed balls for them to go blue.

What are "blue balls," anyway? During sexual arousal, blood floods the genitals through dilated blood vessels, then struggles to leave the area because those departing vessels constrict -- this is known as vascocongestion. In men, the visible results are an erection and larger testicles. Orgasm and ejaculation (or a little time) will return things to normal, but if the vascocongestion is prolonged, pain and discomfort can set in -- enter the term "blue balls."

In women, vascocongestion operates in very much the same way, and if prolonged and unrelieved by an orgasm similar pain, heaviness or discomfort can affect them as well. However, whether the genders experience the same levels of discomfort is unknown. We only know that young men and women have been falsely socialized to think that male blue balls absolutely need to be relieved via orgasm, ideally with female assistance.

2- Female mechanics get paid more than male mechanics

In most professional fields women get the shaft, wage and salary-wise, often only earning three-fourths what men do. However, there’s money to be had in professions where women traditionally do not tread. One of the more lucrative jobs is as an auto mechanic, where women can earn almost one-third more than men.

Why are women rewarded this way as automotive service technicians and mechanics? For the answer we revert to stereotypes: Women are more verbal than men, they’re easier to approach and to talk to, and both genders agree that women instill more trust in others -- at least with car trouble.

3- One in 10 women has never had an orgasm

Science can’t say why this is the case, and if it ever does, the answer won’t apply to all of those women who have never had an orgasm. Yet, it seems, no one can even be certain as to why women orgasm in the first place. The fact that so many women can’t have one supports the notion that the female orgasm is not evolutionary, nor connected to reproductive success or fertility -- otherwise Darwin would’ve nudged them out long ago.

Dr. Eva Martin hints at perhaps one aspect of the issue, saying that the female sex drive is “guided by a complicated system of signals between the brain, the ovaries and other reproductive sexual organs. A healthy brain, more than a healthy body, dictates a woman's desire for sex.”

Ladies, learn from us: It does not have to be so complicated. In 1985’s Bachelor Party, actor Adrian Zmed aptly summed up the only thing necessary to ramp up the male sex drive with the line, “Gentlemen, start your boners.”

4- Women buy more cars than men

Another thing you didn’t know about women is that they are overtaking the car industry. The showroom damsel in distress, long a target of unscrupulous car salesmen, is becoming a thing of the past.

According to some estimates, women are driving off the lots with 52% of all new cars and 53% of used ones and carmakers are reflecting women's many preferences in new models every year. On average, women also spend three weeks longer than men on the car-buying process, displaying either a more thorough, attentive approach to car shopping or just a more thorough, attentive approach to shopping in general.

5- Women prefer unfaithful spouses to have meaningless sex

A word of warning to all the guys out there contemplating an affair: If you must cheat, keep in mind that whatever you do and whoever you do, don’t fall in love. Women in general have an "easier"’ time (for lack of a better term) coping with your one night of meaningless sex than they do if you've developed emotional feelings for the woman.

The opposite is true for men: meaningless sex is devastating to us. Women who cheat and develop emotional attachments -- or who don’t cheat per se but develop emotional bonds with another man -- are less likely to permanently damage their current relationship.


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